7 June 2015

Google it!What would you say if I told you that you could become a technical genius in just 3 Easy Steps?

Sound too good to be true?

It does, but this is one goal that you can reach with a minimal amount of time and energy.

There’s no restrictive diet, no toxic chemicals, no heavy investment of money, no hours of hard work, and it’s 100% natural, green, carbon-neutral, and fully biodegradable.

How much would you pay for such a program? $99.95? $49.95?

For a limited time, I’m going to give you THE SECRET absolutely FREE! 😯

First, a little legal disclaimer:

No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Offer valid for legal residents of any country that is not Canada or not Australia. User agrees to indemnify and hold harmless Scottie for any injury, hardship, loss of power, loss of hair, or any other thing of some type.

With that out of the way, here’s how you become a technical genius:

  1. Remain calm
  2. Google it
  3. Learn

That’s it! It doesn’t get any easier than that. Now, let’s break down each step a bit further.

Step 1 – Remain calm

Let’s face it: if you’re like most people (including me), when stuff doesn’t work right, you get irritated. That’s normal. The turbulent emotions you feel can best be represented by the following image:

Temper Tantrum
“It’s not fair!”

Yep, that’s about right.

Here’s the thing: Scream, vent, stomp your feet, and generally act like a cranky child. Then, when you’re done, carry on to Step 2.

This is very important, because if you never come out of the Temper Tantrum stage, your brain will remain in neutral instead of in gear.

Step 2 – Google it

This is essential. What you’re going to do here is think about your problem, and then think about how other people would describe the issue to do a Google search to find an answer. Then, you’re going to do that same search.

Quick example: Your car won’t start.

Bad Search:  Probability of regulator failure in 75A alternator in 4-year-old Honda

Good Search: car won’t start

Pure genius, eh? You’re more than halfway there already! 😀

Naturally, there is another emotional pitfall here:

Finger Pointing
“YOU did it!”

Our tendency is to blame somebody else for our problem.

If my car doesn’t start, it’s because the mechanic who changed the oil broke it 3 months ago (never mind that it’s been running fine until today). If the web site doesn’t load, it’s not my computer or ISP or browser, it’s the web site. If my plants are dying, it’s because someone else killed them, and certainly not because I watered them with hydrochloric acid!

Sometimes, the problem is your fault. Other times, the problem is someone else’s fault.

Here’s the deal: If you have a problem, and it hasn’t been solved yet, then by definition you don’t know what’s wrong. Therefore, there is no point in blaming anyone.

There will be plenty of time for that later. The concept of delayed gratification can be very useful here to quiet your inner Incredible Hulk. Of course, by the time you solve the problem, you probably won’t much feel like pointing the finger any more since you’ll be so happy and proud that you “fixed the glitch”.

Step 3 – Learn

Here’s the biggie! You’re going to read stuff you find on Google, choose the best-sounding solution, and try it. If it doesn’t work, try another one. Keep trying until you solve your problem.

As you probably guessed, there is another emotional pitfall here:

© Gary Larson, The Far Side
© Gary Larson, The Far Side

You’re going to make assumptions. It’s a fact. That’s not the problem. The problem is when you remain convinced that your assumptions are 100% correct. Like the gifted student above, you can push on that door as hard as you want, but it will never open.

So, when you’re searching and trying solutions to your problem, don’t assume that you know what’s going on. Obviously, you don’t. If you did, the problem would already be solved.

If you assume that the mechanic screwed up your car, it will never occur to you to search for “dead battery” or “dead alternator” and thereby learn what the real problem is.

You may have noticed that this ties in closely with the Temper Tantrum and Finger Pointing pitfalls. Yep!

You didn’t think they were just going to go away, did you?

Always take a step back, and think about the bigger picture. Realize that you might be making an assumption (or two or three), and then refine your search for a solution. In short, you have to do this:

Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes, © Granada Television
Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes, © Granada Television

Booyah

If you follow these 3 easy steps (?!), you will be a technical genius in no time.

We tend to think of problems as these immense horrible things. But for every problem, there is already a solution. You just have to find out what it is.

See? It’s not so bad. As our friend Jack said:

Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, © Walt Disney Pictures
Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, © Walt Disney Pictures

That’s it!

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How to become a Genius in 3 Easy Steps
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One thought on “How to become a Genius in 3 Easy Steps

  • 8 June 2015 at 02:35
    Permalink

    This is so true. Would be laughable if not so true!
    Yes, it is an easy solution, one we instinctively know but totally forget about in the heat of the moment.
    I have a number of “complaint” phone calls to Providers to make today, but I will make them in an entirely different frame of mind and with a smile on my face instead of a frown.
    Thank you Scottie! You genius you!

    Reply

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